SLYTHERIN: House of Cards, Legally Blonde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Beyonce, Game of Thrones, Macbeth, Bates Motel, The 100, The Dark Knight, David Fincher, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog
HUFFLEPUFF: Parks and Rec, Pokemon, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Martian, Mark Duplass, Humans of New York, Veronica Mars, Firefly, One Direction, To Kill A Mockingbird, Wes Anderson
RAVENCLAW: Sherlock, Arrested Development, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Childish Gambino, Gilmore Girls, Black Mirror, David Sedaris, Gone Girl, The Mountain Goats, The Breakfast Club
GRYFFINDOR: Friday Night Lights, Lord of the Rings, Fangirl, The Buried Life, Whiplash, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Saturday Night Live, Kanye West, The Hunger Games, the Marvel Cinematic Universe
headcanon that since the slytherin common room is under the lake there’s a room where the walls and ceiling are glass and you can just see into the lake like an aquarium
headcanon that when this was first done the mermaids got really aggressive and hateful about it and started ramming the glass but since it was magic this just caused them injuries
until a deaf/hoh slytherin started to teach them sign language and it took a long time bit by the time they left hogwarts they and the rest of the house were communicating with the mermaids and on good terms
eventually it becomes a part of slytherin house culture you’re a slytherin you know sign language because if you don’t chat with the mermaids they get grumpy
this helps a lot of deaf/hoh students
this also gives slytherin the best grades of any house on all aquatic magical studies
the mermaids give terrible dating advice do not trust them
The most common mermaid dating advice, of course, being “Drown him”
hufflepuff/slytherin friendships are the best and most terrifying thing ever because i am positive that if 2 people were two take over the world it would be a slytherin and a hufflepuff
Gryffindor: high-fiving someone so hard it hurts your hand (on purpose, and you just get even more pumped up + happy), catching things right before they hit the ground, "home is not a place, it's a person", buying dozens of notebooks but only writing a couple of things in each of them, balconies, assuming everyone speaks the truth, instant noodles, carefree jokes in the middle of fighting in action movies, hitchhiking, board games (with friends), adopting slang words/expressions from other people, road trips, drinking/eating straight from the container, forgetting to brush your teeth, explaining things with your hands or by showing, volunteering (sometimes just so that those who REALLY don't want to do it won't have to), constantly changing your ringtone
Ravenclaw: reading funny/interesting facts and forgetting them right away (except for the VERY fascinating ones), going to a foreign country without knowing the language; learning as you go/by experiencing it yourself and through failed attempts, multitasking (with questionable results), space, tearing paper as a stress reliever, preferring ballpoint + mechanical pens because the line they draw is even, procastination, blushing easily, either REALLY neat or REALLY messy handwriting, making sure everyone is drinking enough water (and not too much alcohol), never borrowing money but always lending it to others (with no rush to get it back), wind, green tea, talking really fast/loud when you get excited, laughing and smiling silently, only paying attention to the things that interest you
Slytherin: having a discussion with someone across the room by using just gestures and facial expressions/lip reading, ending up sharpening all the pencils instead of just the one you need, string instruments, both judgemental eye rolls and friendly and teasing eye rolls, never ignoring problems, taking one (or two) for the team, cutting your own hair/making your own jewellery and clothing; DIY, formal language with strangers and at work but swearing/using (internet) slang with friends and at home, never letting fate decide, keeping secrets (both others' and your own), forgiving relatively fast but NOT many times, avoiding telling white lies, mostly listening during conversations but impressing everyone with how intelligent and insightful you are when you do comment/speak
Hufflepuff: sunflowers and dandelions, (cookie) dough, colouring books, choosing the slightly smaller half of a halved pastry even though the other person said you could pick either one and they'd have the other one, bumblebees + honey bees, listening to loud music with headphones and constantly fearing others can hear it, humming and whistling, coffee and hot chocolate with lots of of whipped cream and spices, blanket forts, not feeling pressured to do anything "productive", always thinking it's your fault (it's not), having days for yourself; peace and quiet and self-care, movie/TV/Netflix marathons, procastinating at first and then working for hours and hours straight just before the deadline, rain (heavy or light), chocolate and peppermint and fudge
I think the fact that within Hogwarts there’s a lot of distaste for Slytherin and Hufflepuff shows some interesting insight into the wizarding community. Like, Hufflepuff represents hard work and fairness, right? But there’s the idea that Hufflepuffs are losers, sort of the proverbial nice guys who finish last. On the other hand, Slytherins, who represent cunning and ambition and personal drive, are seen as cutthroat and generally nasty and mean.
Ultimately, Hufflepuff and Slytherin are both rooted in philosophies on self betterment and achieving success in life, both in terms of being a better person and being a more powerful/wealthy person. The obvious question raised by Hogwarts student’s disapproval of both Slytherin and Hufflepuff is this: if it makes you a loser to succeed through hard work and fairness, but a cheat to succeed through cleverness and an attitude of doing whatever it takes to achieve your goals, how is someone in the wizarding world expected to gain power/wealth/status if they aren’t already born with it?
It’s also worth noting that in a world where magic can do your work for you, Hufflepuffs are scoffed at for being willing to work at all, and Slytherins are shunned for taking advantage of magic to it’s fullest.
Slytherin: the first snow of winter, vodka, coy smirks across the room at your lover, black silk, the feel of satin against your skin, a wife and a mistress sharing a knowing smile across the coffin at the funeral, Arctic Monkeys songs, Lana Del Rey songs, the look of trees in winter, foggy mornings, the flash of gray eyes, whispered threats, film noirs, black tie events, lacy black lingerie, fur coats, the smell of expensive perfumes, the scent of old paper, “Take Me to Church” by Hozier, jazz funerals, New Orleans, making threats against any person who dares cross you or anyone you care for, mirrors draped in black, silent comforts from a loved ones, New York high society, burning photographs, spilt wine, the way your chin trembles while you’re trying not to cry, sucking in deep breaths of frigid air, being pricked by the thorns of a beautiful flower, crying alone in your bed late at night, every song that’s ever made you feel like you could rule the world, Russia, grunge, romantic languages
Gryffindor: running through wheat fields, walking barefoot through grass as night falls, slamming doors, loud arguments, angry tears, a room warmed by a crackling fire, cable-knit sweaters, Dublin, having a drink with your friends, whiskey, brown, silent prayers, kissing a cross for good luck, coming home for Thanksgiving, loss of innocence, dark wood, heavy quilts, the burn in your chest when you hold your breath for a long time, rolling Irish fields, modern houses done in all dark woods and glass, weathered hands, callouses, freckles, the feeling in your stomach you have right before you ask someone on a date, Rome, The Killers songs
Ravenclaw: intelligent conversation, biting remarks, academic debate, English boarding schools, opals, Indie music, old records, perfectly written research papers, silver rings, days spent in bed reading, nails bitten down to the quick, eye-rolling, bitter laughter, sly smiles, angry blushing, independent films, witty banter, flirting in another language, school uniforms
Hufflepuff: the happy laughter of small children, stealing an extra cookie off the plate, cute little cottages nestled on the edges of forests, letting someone cut you in line, the feelings of saying “I do” at the altar, the feeling of catching your breath after a good run, C.S. Lewis novels, silent prayers, smiling at your friend from the back of the room, encouraging nods, standing to applaud someone, silent self-doubt, skinned knees, mismatched socks, silly drawings, curious glances, shy giggles, laughing until your sides hurt, “We’re Going to Be Friends” by The White Stripes, crystals, your first day of college, inspiring speeches, dark curly hair, happy blushing, your first kiss, playing hopscotch, whispering encouraging things to someone who’s doubting themself
y’all go on for days about slytherin/hufflepuff relationships but slytherin/ravenclaw?
slytherins and ravenclaws getting in long winded debates about stupid shit because no, jerry, it’s not more efficient to stuff all the chicken nuggets in your mouth at once.
they shit talk literally everyone. nothing brings people together like mutual hatred
lets be real both houses are practically information brokers in their own rights. if you dont think they’d have each other’s backs 24/7 youre wrong.
in continuation to the last bulletin, ravenclaws helping their snake friends on tests while slytherins warn their nerd friends about shitty people or rumours that are going around about them
insult-based friendships. “jerry you fucking idiot.” “shut up tom you love me.” “yeah but that’s not the point.”
stern ravenclaws that keep their snakes at bay and remind them that revenge is a futile human coping mechanism that has no real emotional benefits and often results in stronger negative emotions than the situation that required revenge
slytherins that help their raven friends not be complete pushovers or give into bullying, and give them what they need to stand up for themselves even on a small scale.
Idk why everyone thinks Slytherins are all evil bc they’re ambitious when in most cases ambition really just leads to shoving a whole pizza in your mouth because some hoe said you couldn’t.
gryffindor: alcohol burning in the back of your throat, s'mores, lightning bugs at dusk, biting your nails, the smell of gasoline in the heat,linking fingers, crunching leaves beneath your feet, music that pounds in your chest polaroids, thunderstorms, driving with the windows down, hot tears running down your cheeks.
hufflepuff: dust floating in the sunshine, twirling in a new dress, wind chimes, the stickiness of melted ice cream, pricking your fingertips, walking barefoot in cool grass, hugs the sweep you off your feet, coin jars, honey in your tea, hand-stitched quilts, blood rushing in your ears.
ravenclaw: footprints in fresh snow, velvet, whispers in the dark, clothes lines billowing in the wind, snow globes, a hand on the small of your back, tiny paper cuts, raindrops that remain on window panes long after the storm, inky fingers, record players, cursing to the wind,
slytherin: a string of pearls, feet sinking in wet sand, gliding on fresh ice, a static shock, black coffee, the stillness after the lights go out, skipping stones, fingers in your hair, the crunch of an apple, dragonfly wings, the bitter taste of harsh words.
there had to be slytherin students who didn’t go with the rest of the house and fought in the battle for hogwarts
kids who took off their ties so nobody could clock them, who blended in with the forces
kids who kept their ties on and realised it would be a lonely fight
kids who watched as the other houses recognised them, and stood in silent solidarity with them,
kids who hated slytherin house, but knew anyone who stayed was their ally
a group of school children are not a lost cause, are not rotten to the core, even if they’ve been raised on some poisonous shit. it’s a shame they were treated like they were irredeemable by the canon narrative
And then there also had to be the ones who evacuated with the younger students, looking over their shoulders in case of pursuit, wands in hand and hexes on their tongues.
Who counted heads and made sure, with the memory for faces and names that makes for a budding politician, that the youngest students were there - not only their own house, but the preteens in yellow and blue and red, too.
Who saw a third year about to sneak off to join the battle and stunned him and carried him out to safety, lying through their teeth - he fell and hit his head in the rush, someone make sure he’s ok - because tonight of all nights no one is going to buy that that attack was for the boy’s own good.
Who, when confronted with a girl in a red and gold scarf who is four months short of her seventeenth birthday and full of fire and steel, demanding why they’re here, why they’re hiding like cowards, why they aren’t fighting, could look down their nose at the bloodthirsty little fool and inform her that people will die tonight, good brave, loyal, intelligent people, but people will live tonight, too. And some of those people will be the generation of young students smuggled out of the castle, who we have seen get away safe, no thanks to your lust for battle. And some of those will be the veterans who limp away as the dust clears, and they will need succor - can you brew a bone knitting potion with the contents of your school bag over a tea light? Because I can. And the world will continue to turn and no matter how important the battle that is raging, the wizarding world is bigger than one castle and wizarding society is more than one institution.
Because cunning is not cowardice, and ambition is not a sin, and some day someone in this milling crowd of scared children will sit on the Wizengamot and someone will invent a startlingly effective magical treatment for a common illness and someone will create renowned works of art and it will, in part, be because I helped make sure they were safely clear of Hogwarts before the castle started falling down around our ears.
I could never, ever, believe that all the Slytherins just ran away, some would have had friends in other houses that they wanted to fight and die beside, some wanted to prove that they were not what everyone thought them to be and make some good in the world.
Anti-Slytherin Person: Name ONE Slytherin who wasn’t a bad guy.
Me: Regulus Black.
Person: Bet you can’t name another one.
Me: Andromeda Tonks. Horace Slughorn. THE GREAT FREAKING MERLIN HIMSELF.
Person: Oh. Well, name one bad guy who WASN’T in Slytherin.
Me: Peter Pettigrew. Professor Quirrel. Igor Karkoroff. Vernon Dursley. Petunia Dursley. Dudley Dursley and all of Dudley’s gang. Gellert Grindewald: the second most famous dark wizard of all time.
Person: …
Me: Not to mention the HOARDS of characters we have NO IDEA WHAT HOUSE THEY WERE IN.
